Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other.
-Carl Jung
One never knows what will spark a thought or emotion. When I see shadow boxers I think of the name more than the action. I think of someone fighting with a part of themselves they can’t escape, purely for the sake of fighting. Why would one want to fight with the parts of themselves they can’t outrun? The secrets? The idiosyncrasies? The choices? The past? The reason anyone fights is because they feel threatened by whatever needs to be “beaten up”. Shadowboxing reminds me of another idea called shadow work.
You likely have a dark side (everyone does)— but there’s also a process that might help you work through that part of yourself. It’s called “shadow work,” and involves “diving into the unconscious material that shapes our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors,” according to therapist Akua Boateng, Ph.D. The goal is to make those unconscious fixations …part of your conscious awareness so that you can then work on them in therapy.
February marks Black History Month. For some this is a time to focus on pride but for others it is a harsh reminder of the atrocity of racism and the lack of inclusion some have endured in the past and others are currently experiencing. If what we resist persists, then maybe what we fight stays hidden from the light.
This month, focus on exploring the thoughts and feelings you have hidden and may be fighting to keep repressed. Ask yourself what might happen if you were to stop fighting. What could happen if you learned from those things in the darkness of your personal shadows?
If you have questions or are looking for ways to face the difficulty of pain (past or present) contact Tanyika Moore Healing Arts.
Interested to learn more about fighting the shadows of racism or toxic situations? Read our blog post When to Check Out from Toxic People to learn more.
By: Tanyika “Tann” Moore, LMFT
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