Might as well face it you’re addicted. This is the chorus of a popular song from 1985 by Robert Palmer. The full chorus contains the title of the song. “Might as well face it you’re addicted to love.” Is this possible?
Can one actually be addicted to love when love is not actually an addictive substance?
The National Institute on Drug Abuse defines addiction as: a chronic, relapsing disorder characterized by compulsive drug seeking, continued use despite harmful consequences, and long-lasting changes in the brain. It is considered both a complex brain disorder and a mental illness. Is it possible to be addicted to love like Palmer’s catchy tune suggests?
Love can show us affection and kindness or it can show us aggression and violence.
Many of us have different associations for loving and being loved. Love can be an emotion that encourages, inspires and makes you feel euphoric – even high. The flip side of this, though, is that love can often also be displayed in toxic, hurtful and even abusive ways. Both of these versions of love are still, in fact, love. If one has grown up in a home where their parents have loved each other peacefully and with affection and kindness, that child may most likely grow up defining love in these ways.
However, a child who witnesses their parents, or adult relationships around them, display aggression and/or violence may cause the child to grow up learning how to express and expect love in those ways. These patterns can become core beliefs that can lead to compulsions, changes in the way we think and relapsing behaviors. This may prove that it is an oversimplification to believe that one can simply walk away from love that “no longer serves them” when it can be the vice that they continue to indulge in despite its harmful consequences.
There are no rehab clinics for being addicted to feeling butterflies or even codependence. If you or someone you know is participating in a relationship that appears to be harming in any way, a solution might not be clear to see. However, meeting with a mental health professional may improve effective communication of needs, a healthier personal understanding of attachments and the identification of early examples of love.
These tools can help one kick the habit of toxic attachments, make room for healthier connections and to increase your overall well-being.
If you’d like guidance with effective communication or addiction please contact: Tanyika Moore Healing Arts for a telehealth consultation or referral.
By: Tanyika “Tann” Moore, LMFT