“Before you save a single thing, you must first save yourself. It is a revolutionary act, and every revolution must begin in the heart.”
(Daley-Ward, The How).
When you’re ready to evolve, counseling could be a good fit.
I love this quote because it is a simple, yet life-changing, concept. It may very well challenge all previous ideas of helping others and general ideas of selflessness, but is one of many true keys to life.
Putting others before you is something we were taught from people who were taught self-focus was bad. It may have even been considered a sin or dangerous. However, that idea is antiquated at best and has never actually been effective.
Parents put their children first and their children grow to adulthood and live as they choose with no regard to how this will impact the parent. Intimate partners witness the object of their affection consistently place the other’s needs and wants above their own. Instead of reciprocating this gesture the other follows suit and also puts themselves first. Employers will pile on the duties for the selfless employee that puts the company mission before breaks, balance and boundaries.
At the very heart of therapy is an awareness that you have to get your life in focus before you can be there for anyone else. Before you can guide anyone else and before you can truly love anyone else. I believe this is what makes counseling such a good fit for those ready to evolve. Or why it is so taboo for those committed to seeking satisfaction, and sometimes, wholeness in service to others.
Effective service to others only works when a person knows their strengths, weaknesses and expectations of this service to others. Without adequate understanding of self we often end up disappointed when we give our all and it’s not matched. It’s not mirrored because the person on the receiving end thought you enjoyed putting others first as a way of life. However, you were sure it was a recipe for reciprocity.
If you’ve been feeling unappreciated, unseen or unloved by those you sacrifice most for, take a moment to see if you’ve been appreciating, seeing and loving your splendid self first. The truth is, we are always teaching people how to treat us with the way we treat ourselves. The practice of good self-love makes more perfect love possible.
If you would like some assistance with self-realization contact us at tanyikamoorehealingarts.com.
By: Tanyika “Tann” Moore, LMFT
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