I am rarely on social media because I’ve learned that too much social media for me is kind of like too much sugar. It is great at first, even sweet and juicy, but then when I eat too much I feel stuffed and sick to my stomach. However, today I found myself on social media advertising an upcoming project I have in the works and while there I came across a quote on a friend’s post. “Everything that you’ve ever dreamed of, is on the other side of fear.” This struck me and I immediately reposted it.
There are few things in life that can stop us while simultaneously pushing us like fear. Everything that we dream of can often be distorted by the voice of fear. Quite often when I meet with clients for the first time they will admit that the source of their anxiety in life is the fear of the unknown. Often it is fear of success. At times it is fear of abandonment or even rejection. Yet at the core, fear is often the culprit.
Finding out more about yourself for the purpose of healing oneself is a fear
Many have shared they’ve put off therapy for a long period of time because the stigma associated with it was frightening. Even the fear of finding out more about yourself for the purpose of healing oneself is a fear. Even more, it is a fear that doesn’t serve you.
Fear does not have to be completely removed from your life in order to begin to move forward. On the contrary, many people take fear with them as they move toward the unknown or undeveloped pieces of their life because they have learned that fear will always be there in some way, shape or form. So, instead of letting fear fool you, you can allow it to fuel you.
Here are three ways you can be more courageous today:
Reframe: Fear doesn’t have to be considered an enemy. Fear can be an indicator that there is something that needs more attention. Perhaps asking more questions or maybe tweaking the original plan can help resolve some of the fear you’re facing.
Befriend: Fear can become your friend if you utilize it in a way that helps you pay more attention. If you found out there might be a swarm of bees on your normal hike trail, would you stop hiking there all together? The answer is probably no. Instead you would be more aware and pay attention to your surroundings, keeping in mind to avoid walking or running through this swarm. Fear in just about every aspect of your life probably looks something like this. Knowing harm exists but doing it anyway…more mindfully.
Expectation: The same way one might set a table for invited dinner guests, you can plan for unexpected fear. It’s better to stop trying to avoid it and to stop trying to plan routes where it doesn’t exist altogether, because – newsflash – fear is everywhere. Everyone at some point in time has been afraid. Whether they show it or not. Truly, fear can be very useful. Expect it. Plan for it. Invite it in. Learn how to face your fear and how to move with it.
“Everything that you’ve ever dreamed of, is on the other side of fear.” I hope to see you all on the other side.
If you or someone you know feels they could use a bit of extra support navigating thoughts and emotions of fear, contact us at Tanyika Moore Healing Arts for a consultation or referral.
By: Tanyika “Tann” Moore, LMFT
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